moving out and on

Tomorrow, I'm moving out of the housing that I've had through late summer and fall. 

What's different about this place is that I'm not only moving out of a decent location, but I'm also moving out from lovely comrades with shared values and interests. This is the first place that I've stayed where I have so many shared interests with the people in the space, such great community space with other people have shared interests of people that have a tendency to come and go through the space, and genuinely felt welcomed and valued. 

Even in spaces where I felt welcomed, I didn't totally share like might it interests with folks so there was still many degrees of separation that had me feeling isolated in some ways that I did not feel here. 

I could truly unmask here around other people that were also comfortable unmasking. There's no replacement for that. 

I've thought about leaving by myself, because it's hard to find people that anyone truly aligns with on so many levels, while I'm certain that I would rather live with at least one other person because I am an ambivert and even if we don't totally agree we can still get along. but after this I'm becoming more considerate that I would rather live by myself than live with someone I don't totally vibe with because I would rather live with friends instead of living in tolerance and obligation. 

I think rugged individualism pushes that if you have to have roommates or housemates that it's better to be with people that you don't know that well so conflict is easier to handle, but conflict resolution is not one size fits all. I would rather handle conflict with my friends rather than strangers because friends know where each other is coming from. People aren't out to get me. My friends aren't going to try to manipulate me. 

People are afraid of their friends turning tail and being manipulated by them, but a stranger can do that as well, and with a lot more ease. Most people are good. And if someone wrongs you, they were planning on doing that anyway regardless of your relationship. As someone who has been wronged by family, the people that society tells us we are supposed to trust, I have no reason to believe this rugged individualism that strangers are better than friends. 

All pros and cons considered I am going to miss this place. The biggest con here was the stairs - for me. My knees were not having a good time. 

Other than that, I've been through more with the people that I've lived with and that have visited then I have with many others regardless of how long I've stayed with them. I've been through more with these people than I've been through with the people that I lived with for almost 3 years. 

I would want to live with at least one other person with at least one bathroom in a place that we can more than afford so we aren't staying with each other out of desperation and necessity. We can afford to live alone if we want, but we both like being around people more. A place where friends know they can rest and unmask. A mutual aid space. 

That's the dream. A mutual Aid space stocked with plenty of retro games and a big screen TV and anime and manga, comfy places to sit and lay. Always plenty of food and drink! Very aesthetic!