alcohol and sleeping pills

I've had an anxiety a lot longer than I was initially willing to admit. I've been treating my anxiety with alcohol and sleeping pills since I was a teenager. I noticed this, because since I started the anxiety meds I don't feel as compelled to drink as I used to. Not to say that I'm going to quit. I tried quitting, and every time I quit I'm pretty good at it, until something horrible happens. The most recent horrible thing was the pandemic and being trapped in a home with people that hated me. I think the George Floyd uprising also did some drinking time.

I haven't had sleeping pills in a few years, because I stopped enjoying how they suddenly knocked me out. They didn't really quiet the voices, they just made me black out. At some point I developed a fear towards that feeling. It's like I was there, and then suddenly I wasn't. 

Since I started the anxiety pills, I've taken it much more objective stance on my coping mechanisms. Let's see where this goes.