dejected day to end in November

I had a very unmotivated and deflated day today. It was dreary, so I didn't go to a potluck I wanted to go to. Is the day went on I was in and out of sleep, and I had a dream. I don't remember most of it, now, but it was in a familiar place with some familiar people and people having to do some things that they generally disagree with to survive poverty and get by under capitalism. One character I particularly remember is a white pastor that dropped hints of doing sex work to make a livable income. 

My grandfather was in the dream somewhere, and my godmother was in the dream. but there's something about her that was abnormal period she wasn't scaring anything. It's like it was someone who looked like her with very different, and younger energy. They tried to be comforting, I'm sure, but I was afraid because I could tell they were different. Towards the end of the dream my sacrifice by Creed started playing, and I woke up.

something that took place within the dream bit outside the room of my experiences is that there were three shootings in the area over the past 24 hours. A lot of the people in the dream were dejected because they were involved with the shootings in some sort of way either knowing about them or witnessing them. After I heard there were three shootings my first concern was where they all related because they were all in the same area within 24 hours. I didn't ask anyone though. I was sitting in the same dejected energy as everyone else because of the sudden and massive violence.

Somewhere in the dream, I feel like I had the fear that things were definitely changing, but for the worse. that's where the person that looked like my godmother at the end tried to comfort me and Creed started playing and I woke up sometimes things get worse before they get better, but how much more can we take? We haven't heard about any mass shootings because everything's been closed since covid, but now that things are reopening we're already having Mass shootings, again. The only thing that was stopping the gun violence was the plague. People didn't learn anything. if anything, people are angrier because of the civil war kicked off by George Floyd's murder and the subsequent highlight of racial disparities in politics.

But if everything must come to an end, this must as well.